Sunday, January 8, 2012
It was like the whole time I was away
I had butterflies in my stomach
I was alone in a room full of people
Before we left they told me we were "going home"
I told them "no, were already home"
They said that was stupid
"Home is where the heart is"
That was never true to me before
I never had a home before
The home I have, it's full of the best people
I love them to bits
I love my home
Monday, January 2, 2012
cold and alone
you notice that there is some one next to you
who are you? you say
he looks at you
whithout a stop to think he say's
"Im your gardian angel"
you stop, turn to him and say
"no your not!"
"you can't be"
"there is no such thing"
he smiles at you and say
"I knew you would say that"
"if I am not real, who stopped that man from robbing you?"
"what man?" you say
"the one that was behind the dumpster ten minutes ago"
"oh yeah, how'd you do that then" you say, hoping to catch him off gard
without a though he said
"I whispered in his ear, I told him that he should go home"
"his wife and child needed him more than the 5 dollars he would get"
you then ask "how did you know I had only 5 dollars?"
"I know this because I was there when you stole it from your mothers room"
you stop, this is bad, houw could he know this? he wasnt there?
"how did I not see you then" you demand
he answered simply
"because you didnt need to see me"
the way he answered, so casual
it made you angry
"then how come I can see you now" you shout
"because you didnt want to be by yourself"
"well I do know!" you nearly shout this, and you feel a little stupid
you turn to say you are sorry
but there is no one there
you feel cold and alone, you walk faster, wanting to get home as soon as you can
you turn a corner and see that near the end of the road are some men
you can see there eye's they are looking right at you
there is nowhere you can turn
the start walking inyour direction, you slow down
they are getting closer and closer, you feel nothing but fear
they hesitate, look at each other, then walk right past you
you do not wait, to see if they come back
you run and run, you run till your sides hurt
you stop and sit on a bench to catch your breath
your heart is beating so loadly your surprised that the whole world
cant hear it
"dont worry" a voice say's "I wont watch over you"
you breath out, you feel better
"and no, they cant hear your heart"
Sunday, January 1, 2012
walking alone on a dark wet morning
the fog caressing the lake
pondering my worth
maybe it should be the end
my last act,
my first ever act of freedom
and then I hear it
a muffled sound…
there it goes again
but I see nothing
even in the fog
I can tell I’m alone
there... that noise again!
a muffled squeak
and movement of grass
I'm almost annoyed, this was supposed to
be my time of choice
how can I possible think with that silly invisible sound?
then something taps my shoe
I look down, and there on the ground is a.....
I bend down, and put my had out
just to see what happens
the duck, with no hesitation
waddles up to me
then plops down on my hand
it turned it's head to look at me
it's eyes seem to say
"You are my new mother, deal with it"
And then the little duckling
wiggled it’s bottom and made a small "quack"
as if to say that it’s final, so there!
"what do I do"
I hold this small precious life in my hands
I can feel it's little heart
It's eye giving me a quizzical look
trying to figure me out
how can I look after this little thing?
I can barely take care of myself
As if the little treasure could read my mind
looking up at me, made a faint squeak
t game my finger a small nip of affection
in it’s eyes I could see hope
the sun came up, and warmed us with its glow
I looked at the duckling and whispered to it
“Let’s give this hope thing a try”
there is no map, no signs to point direction
I feel despair as I watch her stumble around looking for
a way to freedom
I want to call out to her and tell her she's
hug her and wipe her tears away
stand up for her and scare the nightmares away
tell her the future is bright
but I'm paralyzed, I'm cant stop what happens to her
it's all my fault, I know it is
through her eyes there is no paradise
it's through those eye's I see the world