Sunday, January 8, 2012


I was away for to long
It was like the whole time I was away
I had butterflies in my stomach
I was alone in a room full of people

Before we left they told me we were "going home"
I told them "no, were already home"

They said that was stupid

"Home is where the heart is"

That was never true to me before
I never had a home before

The home I have, it's full of the best people
I love them to bits
I love my home

Monday, January 2, 2012


walking a dark path
cold and alone

you notice that there is some one next to you
who are you? you say

he looks at you
whithout a stop to think he say's
"Im your gardian angel"

you stop, turn to him and say
"no your not!"
"you can't be"
"there is no such thing"

he smiles at you and say
"I knew you would say that"
"if I am not real, who stopped that man from robbing you?"

"what man?" you say

"the one that was behind the dumpster ten minutes ago"

"oh yeah, how'd you do that then" you say, hoping to catch him off gard

without a though he said
"I whispered in his ear, I told him that he should go home"
"his wife and child needed him more than the 5 dollars he would get"

you then ask "how did you know I had only 5 dollars?"

"I know this because I was there when you stole it from your mothers room"

you stop, this is bad, houw could he know this? he wasnt there?

"how did I not see you then" you demand

he answered simply
"because you didnt need to see me"

the way he answered, so casual
it made you angry

"then how come I can see you now" you shout

"because you didnt want to be by yourself"

"well I do know!" you nearly shout this, and you feel a little stupid
you turn to say you are sorry
but there is no one there

you feel cold and alone, you walk faster, wanting to get home as soon as you can
you turn a corner and see that near the end of the road are some men
you can see there eye's they are looking right at you

there is nowhere you can turn

the start walking inyour direction, you slow down
they are getting closer and closer, you feel nothing but fear

they hesitate, look at each other, then walk right past you
you do not wait, to see if they come back

you run and run, you run till your sides hurt
you stop and sit on a bench to catch your breath

your heart is beating so loadly your surprised that the whole world
cant hear it

"dont worry" a voice say's "I wont watch over you"

you breath out, you feel better

"and no, they cant hear your heart"

Sunday, January 1, 2012

a life in my hand

walking alone on a dark wet morning
the fog caressing the lake

pondering my worth
maybe it should be the end
here today,
the cold,
wet water
my last act,
my first ever act of freedom

and then I hear it
a muffled sound…
there it goes again

but I see nothing
even in the fog
I can tell I’m alone

there... that noise again!
a muffled squeak
and movement of grass

I'm almost annoyed, this was supposed to
be my time of choice
how can I possible think with that silly invisible sound?

then something taps my shoe

I look down, and there on the ground is a.....
little duckling
I bend down, and put my had out
just to see what happens

the duck, with no hesitation
waddles up to me
then plops down on my hand

it turned it's head to look at me
it's eyes seem to say
"You are my new mother, deal with it"
And then the little duckling
wiggled it’s bottom and made a small "quack"
as if to say that it’s final, so there!

"what do I do"
I hold this small precious life in my hands
I can feel it's little heart

beating away
It's eye giving me a quizzical look
trying to figure me out

how can I look after this little thing?

I can barely take care of myself

As if the little treasure could read my mind

looking up at me, made a faint squeak

t game my finger a small nip of affection

in it’s eyes I could see hope

the sun came up, and warmed us with its glow

I looked at the duckling and whispered to it

“Let’s give this hope thing a try”

she seems lost

she seems lost, how do I help her find the way?
there is no map, no signs to point direction

I feel despair as I watch her stumble around looking for
a way to freedom

I want to call out to her and tell her she's
not alone
hug her and wipe her tears away

stand up for her and scare the nightmares away
tell her the future is bright

but I'm paralyzed, I'm cant stop what happens to her
it's all my fault, I know it is
through her eyes there is no paradise

it's through those eye's I see the world